How to Talk to a Pregnant Woman

Today is my due date of our second child. Finn, our first, was 13 days late so I realize there is a chance of this one going overdue. Strangely, I don't really mind this. The one thing I don't look forward to is the questions and comments, to be quite honest. Please understand - I'm not trying to be a grouch or anything and I truly know being pregnant is a blessing. It's just that when you get the same question and comment every day, from both people you know and strangers, it gets a little wearing. Allow me to give you some tips on giving a pregnant girl, especially and overdue one, some grace:

Things to Avoid Telling a Soon-to-be Mother

(especially an overdue one)

1. Your tips on how to induce labour 

There is a 100% chance that if you were to look at this mother's Google history, you would find the sentence "how to induce labour". This woman has been pregnant for the better part of a year and is very excited to meet this human growing inside. She has done her research and probably knows exactly what you're going to say: eat pineapple, drink raspberry leaf tea, go for long walks, bounce on an excersize ball, taking Evening Primrose Oil, castor oil (which can give you mad diarrhea, by the way...you're welcome) and of course the favourite; "have lots of sex". FYI, telling her to have lots of sex is just...awkward. Furthermore, these strategies and potions and whatnot don't even really work unless your body is already on its way there. Babies come when they want. Consider it the first time they exert their independence.

2. Saying "No baby yet?" or "Still pregnant huh?" 

If we were to take a poll amongst mothers, this would probably top the charts for Most Frustrating Question Ever Asked. Obviously, if her stomach is looking like a beach ball, the baby is still living in there. 

3. Asking if there are any 'signs' of labour.

Most signs of impending labour involve the words 'mucus', 'plug', 'blood', 'cervix', and 'dialation', among many. Along with these words come visuals. Unless you want amazingly personal details of the woman you are speaking to accompanied with graphic mind images, do not ask these questions. 

4. Horror stories of your or your sister-in-law's cousin's BFF's awful, long labour.

This poor woman is about to embark on possibly the most painful and yet rewarding experience of her life. She knows it's not going to be rainbows and angels dabbing the sweat off her brow with organic fleece cloths made from the baby lambs of heaven. If she asks, then it's fair game, but don't volunteer bad experiences. Imagine the horror on someone's face when you tell them your friend's anestesia never did kick in, just before they go in to get their appendix removed. Oh, but good luck! Same face. Same horror.

5. Commenting on how huge she looks.

Or if she is 'sure' she is not carrying twins. Seriously. Not funny. Someone asked me this when I was pregnant and overdue with Finn in late summer with swollen face and feet, cankles, and the whole shebang. I was polite, but no smiles or courtesy laugh from this one. This is even worse if she is actually carrying twins.

6. Saying they are forfeiting their current amazing, exhilarating, freedom-filled lives.

Telling someone that they are inevitably giving up their "freedom" for the rest of their life is not only untrue, but incredibly mean! Parenthood should not be seen as a jail sentence. It's the greatest privilege ever. Yes, life is drastically different when you have someone depending on you 24/7, but seeing it as a subject of woe is lame. Having babies is some people's ultimate dream and telling them that their dream (and their child!) is going to ruin their life is bad form. And untrue. And just...mean.

7. "Get all the sleep you can now because you will NEVER SLEEP EVER AGAIN!"

Also NOT TRUE! This is one of the most popular things pregnant girls are told. Let it be known, mothers do get to sleep again at some point. For some, it's longer than others, but it does happen. Eventually. 

On the flip side, there are some things that people can do to make the pregnant lady feel like a normal human being and put her at ease.

Green Light Subjects for Talking to a Pregnant Woman

1. Tell her she looks great, especially when she doesn't feel it.

Pregnant women do not typically feel like they look amazing. Huge stomach, swollen everything, pains and zings coming from random nerve endings you never knew you had and waddling like a penguin doesn't feel awesome. They may look cute with the belly, but rarely do they feel beautiful or great. (I don't speak for everyone, of course, but I kind of assume...correct me if I'm wrong) A little compliment can go a long way!

2. Talk about at least one other subject before bringing up her pregnancy.

Even if it's about the weather, a movie you saw last night, lunch plans...whatever. The only thing people seem to want to talk about with a pregnant woman is pregnancy. (Maybe they think that's all pregnant chicks want to talk about?) Sometimes, the pregnant woman wouldn't really mind just talking about movies or food. Oh, always food. Dessert especially. 

3.  Encourage her that the birth process will be okay.

If the subject comes up, just say it's all going to be okay and she'll do great, no matter what happens. As said above, no horror stories. Everyone's birth story is different and most turn out well in the end. They're full of pain, tears, sometimes complications, but if you ask any mother she will tell you it was the greatest, empowering, most joyous day of her whole life. The best things in life often take loads of work, some pain, and some tears. 

4. Tell her you're praying or will pray for her! (And really do it)

She appreciates all the help and prayers she can get. Prayer goes a long way people!  

There you have it. I had to get that off my chest. I hope it didn't come off too cynical or stuck up...I didn't mean to. Can I use pregnancy as an excuse? One last time? (Hopefully)

Singin'.

I am singing along to a song on the radio.

Me: Hey Finn, do you like my singing?
Finn: No.

Dear Body...

The following post is a challenge from SheLoves Magazine, to write a love letter to your body...here goes...

Dear Body,

This year marks your thirtieth. We’ve been through some crazy times in those years, haven’t we? We began with a squishy little 8lb 12 oz bundle of baby fat and a head of dark hair. You somewhat resembled an Eskimo. Of course, I don’t remember much of those early days. Apparently after i lost some of that dark hair, people called me "Charlie Brown head" because of the size of my melon (thanks by the way). I do know you put up with a lot considering the family dynamics we went through together. Lots of tears spilled on your cheeks, red eyes, runny noses.

I remember my ten year old self, unsatisfied with your smile, which I thought was too wide and showed too much gum. Your teeth, which weren’t quite the shape I wanted them to be. Your eyes, which are brown, but I wanted green or blue. Your breasts, which to my absolute horror grew before anyone else in my school class (the first to wear a bra...how embarrassing!) Your hair, which was brown and not blonde. Your freckles, which annoyed me and had no hope of being rid of. Every time I looked in the mirror at you I was disappointed at something new.

In my teen years, I did not think you to be ‘fat’, but I thought you could lose a couple inches. To have skinnier thighs that didn’t touch in the middle. To have some skinnier hips. HA! Looking back on those photos, what was I thinking? If I were any thinner I would have wasted away. Thus, that didn’t save me from comparing you to my friend’s bodies and those in magazines. Why must we do that anyway?

In my twenties, I learned to love you a bit more. I learned to like the waviness of your hair, and the brown colour. I stopped smiling in photos with a closed mouth and embraced the slightly crooked front tooth. I appreciated your hips. I even started wearing shorts, exposing your pasty white skin. Yes, people make a joke every once in awhile at your ‘transparency’, but I have learned to laugh at myself too. Really.

Remember last year when we ran that half marathon? Wow. I never ever ever in my entire life thought you could do anything like that. Gym class, you, and me never did get along. That race changed my life you know…after that I felt like I could conquer anything. Physically, mentally. So thanks for coming along for the ride.

I do believe your crowning achievement thus far has been the growth from seed form and birth of my son. You did magnificent – even when his head was stuck somewhere in that pelvis, you persevered and didn’t give out on me. Right at the last second, it seemed, when his heart rate was going up rapidly, you decided to just give it one more go and BAM! Out he came. Thanks for that, by the way. (I really didn’t want a C-section after all that effort.)

And now, here we are, twenty nine years on. When I look in the mirror, there are more tiny creases around your mouth and eyes than when I looked ten years ago. Or even five. There are way more greys sprouting through my brown hair. Those stretch marks are here to stay, and I’m okay with all that. What's the point in complaining about what we can't change? They’re more like trophies anyway. We earned those. We’ve gone through tears, laughter, birth, miscarriage, pregnancy again, ups and downs. Basically, I just want to say thanks for holding up. And I'm sorry for calling you weak, useless, stupid, and unable. I have learned so much from you. Thanks for being so forgiving and I hope we can continue to have a close relationship in the future. We're in this together, you and I. Let's do this.

Lots of love,
B
xo

Feels Like Flying.

Finn has found a new love for the swings at the playground. He's discovered the exhilaration of closing his eyes while being pushed high and fast. I love it because that was my (is my) favourite thing to do on the playground.

My least fave? Monkey bars.

Prince George-in It.

Summer time = road trip time. First stop: Prince George, BC.

Chris' mom and boyfriend live there (AKA Grams and Grandpa Mike) and we organized for us and Chris' older brother Mike and his family to go at the same time, so our kids could meet. It was the coolest thing seeing the four of them play together! Unfortunately Joey, the youngest, wasn't able to get in on some of the fun because he had a broken leg. So sad! He was a great sport though.

Finn playing "football" with Jamie and Jesse

This is Joey. :)

Mike and Kristy also brought the family dog, Rio. Finn loved her, and I think she loved another playmate!

This is Grams entertaining the kids in the rain. Rain was a common occurrence the whole weekend. I think the kids started getting batty (or was it us adults?) so we took them outside in the rain. Bubble popping was a very popular activity.

Finn discovered caterpillars for the first time. It was so cute seeing him be so gentle with them. He would watch it crawl along, pick it up and put it on his arm, put it back on the bench, then watch it again. Then do the same thing. The poor creature was probably scared out of its tiny little mind.

Some other highlights:

Mike and Chris were super excited about their ride!

Finn discovered "CHEESE!" 

Tiny table, lots of life and fun. :)

Finn and Grams

Finn and Grandpa Mike

Cravings, Take 2.

During my pregnancy with Finn, I craved two things, and they often had to go together:

1. Ice
2. Carbonated water (Bonus if it was lemon/lime flavour)

For this pregnancy I haven't had many cravings thus far. Since there is only less than two months to go, I'm not sure if I will develop any new ones. However, if my life depended on me telling someone what I craved this pregnancy, it would be two things. Nay, three:

1. Anything coconut (regular coconut stuff, coconut curry, and basically anything that says to add coconut milk)
2. Carbonated water (I don't know if this counts because I never stopped drinking it)
3. Black licorice babies. (NOT the ones found at Superstore. Barf)

Once, in a moment of desperation, I tried tonic water. NOT THE SAME THING. Probably the most revolting beverage I have ever allowed in my mouth.

I am interested to see what I will crave when I start nursing...when I first started nursing Finn, I craved chocolate like a mofo. I have never needed chocolate in my whole life except during that time. Basically, if you stood in the way of me and said chocolate, someone was going down. And it wasn't me. Or the chocolate. Stay tuned for that one...

Blueberry Coconut Flour Muffins (Gluten Free)

Some peeps were asking about some muffins I made...here is the recipe! It's taken directly from The Gluten Free Bible cookbook.

Gluten Free Blueberry Coconut Flour Muffins

6            Eggs
1/4 c      Butter, melted
1/4 c      Milk
1/2 c      Sugar
1/2 c      Coconut flour
2 tsp      Grated lemon peel
1/2 tsp   Salt
1/2 tsp   Baking powder
1/2 tsp   Xanthan gum
1 c         Blueberries

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease or line muffin pan with paper cups.

2. Whisk eggs, butter, milk and sugar in a medium bowl until well blended.

3. Thoroughly combine 1/2c coconut flour, lemon peel, salt, baking powder, and xanthan gum in medium bowl. Whisk til batter is smooth.

4. Combine blueberries with remaining 2 tsp coconut flour in small bowl. Stirl gently in to batter. (I skipped this step and they turned out fine!)

5. Fill prepared muffin cups almost full. Bake 12 to 15 minutes or until toothpick inserted in to centre comes out clean. Cool 5 minutes in pan on wire rack. Serve warm.